When I feel rejected or judged, it’s because the judgment or rejection attached to a fear I hold about myself.
If someone calls me a “a space alien”, I find no offense in that because I hold no fear or shame that I am indeed an alien from space. If someone calls me “dumb”, I feel offense, because I hold a deep fear that I am indeed dumb and this person has revealed a truth to the world. There may be absolutely no truth in the statement, but it plays to a secret fear that triggers me to anger, shame, or self-reproach.
Triggers are signals. They are mile markers in the journey to true understanding and appreciation of myself. As long as I hold incorrect views of my true self, triggers will be sent to signal me. God is telling me that there is an issue that I must work on and giving me opportunities to do that work. Until the work is complete, I will continue to have such triggers brought by various people, places, and things in my life.
When I gain a true view of who I am, as I gain a right perspective on who I am in God, triggers disappear. When I understand my true value, guilt, shame, and fear dissipate. God will move on to a new area for self work. It’s only through the triggers as signals that we begin to see and improve the areas where our view of “self” is simply incorrect.